West Yorkshire league Race 1 – Wetherby
I best kick off this report with an apology. This report will actually be about the race and will feature none of my usual tangents and cut throat humour. Therefore my usual statements such as “COLOUR BLIND PEOPLE. Avoid accidents by getting out of your car at traffic lights to feel which one’s warm” and “CONFUSE the Google Street View car by running alongside it dressed as a house” will not be featured. I will also say Luke Buswell is not receiving any more insults, as he has bullied me incessantly this week and I want to avoid any of this in the future.
Doss AC’s Emily Birchill put in a great display to finish 4th in a 126 people strong ladies field, with student Lucy “picture yourself in a hut in a mountain” Crookes in 5th place. (I best explain this reference. I am planning to continue my references to John Lennon’s classic song ‘Lucy in the sky with diamonds’ in race reports, so I was going to put “picture yourself in a boat on the river” as the opening lyrics to the song go. However I felt this worked better given her attendance at the annual mountain hut trip).
To the fore of the field from the offset with Colleen Wilson (11th) and Bronwyn Hodgins (17th), Birchill and Crookes forged ahead over the testing 8 km course. Other dossers in the field included Lucy Needham (33rd), Catherine Whitfield (55th), Anne Marie-Moore (79th) and Hannah Lechert (93rd).
Crookes restored my faith in her sanity following this great performance as in a text before the race she referred to me as ‘best bud’. Obviously, as everyone knows, my best bud is the one and only ALEX BELLEW. What an idiot (Crookes, not Bellew).
A stunning run from Colleen Wilson was probably down to anger she has been brewing since Manchester relays. In the car on the way there she said (and I directly quote) “Elliot Jackson is a horrible, horrible man in bed”. I may have taken this out of context slightly…….
Canada’s Bronwyn Hodgins was hoping to cap off her fine comeback season since migration but following an untimely fruity friday in the lead-up, found herself on her own for much of the race as it progressed but still comfortably finished a very solid 17th.
Senior Women – two small and three large laps
GB international athlete and fell runner, James Walsh won his umpteenth west Yorkshire title with consumate ease. The (not sure what age – i’d guess mid twenties, maybe a few years older) – old athlete followed up some fine performances at mountain hut which saw him overtake cyclists up a particularly steep hill with an easy 31 second win. Apparently it was “too easy”.
Up for the students were Beau Smith, Tom Powell, Finn Affleck-Brodie, Seb Goodall and Jack Woodcock.
Before the race me and Jack put on a bet to see who would win out of us two. A very silly bet on my part as the man mountain has been thrashing me in training. Basically whoever loses when we race each other this season has to buy the other a meal.
Jack set off the fastest around twentieth and I didn’t want him to get too far ahead so I stuck on his shoulder. Just behind was Beau Smith who powered ahead of me and Jack at the end of the first large lap at a point where I unfortunately went over on my ankle slightly, fortunately I ran it off in the coming two minutes. About 40 seconds down were Finn and Seb who were running together.
Beau endeed up coming a great 22nd in a strong field. After gaining a few seconds on Jack he absolutely SMASHED the last few hundred metres to finish 32nd and I fannied around the last hundred metres and lost many places to finish a 37th. Seb Goodall ran a Greg/ Bellew/ Sensible race and finished about 15 seconds behind me in 40th. Finn, ever the optimist, came 67th and said “Pissed off, absolute shambles. That is all”.
Mid-race Jack Wood said to me “I know who you are. I know what you want. If you are looking for an easy victory, I can tell you won’t get it. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you break away from me now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will beat you on a sprint finish”. Unfortunately I didn’t get rid of him and now I am in his debt for 1 portion of fish and chips. I was so annoyed with Jack after this I referred him to Marco from Trepoja, famed for taking my mate Bryans duaghter.
Overall a great day for the Uni, especially on the girls part. Sorry this report was so sensible, normal service will be resumed next week.
Hugs and Kisses
Tom Powell – Press officer and temporary (perhaps one day soon more permanent) race captain