Category Archives: 2011-2012

Mountain Hut Report – 2012

Co-Written by journalist Tom Powell (Best bud of the IT boss man and writer of ground-breaking journalistic works such as “Manchester relays 2011” and “Anaemia for the common man (Forward by Luke Buswell”) and Lucy Crookes (Lover of the IT bossman andupcoming Ladies Race captain)

Note: Fans of Powell’s previous works will notice that this report is written in the fashion of a diary, unusual but in this case very effective (To re-read said articles, please refer to the gryphons website)

Friday 7th September – Powell

Around 2 o’clock in the afternoon I was awoken from an unusually long lie in by a phone call from fellow student Simon O’Meara who fancied a lift to mountain hut despite on several occasions previously insisting he didn’t need a lift. Reluctant to help this man considering next year he is moving to Alehouse, being a nice man though I couldn’t resist. About 4.00 Simon came round to my house (which is in Manchester) and we set off to Ambleside. Upon reaching Ambleside I noticed fellow Dossers Matthew Lockyer, Peter Webster and Chris Fall also getting out of a vehicle. Following this me and the ladz proceeded to the pub and Simon cycled to the mountain hut. After a few hours of exiting pub games (including a particularly memorable game of dominos, in which Chris insisted a double blank domino was a ‘magic domino’ and could be played at any point in the game) we had some fish and chips and met up with the rest of the Doss (about 30 of us in total) before finally driving to the mountain hut. At this point I had had several pints and had forgotten about Simon, It ended up his tyre had punctured and was stuck outside the hut freezing his tits off for about 5 hours while everyone else was getting pissed in the nice warm pub. It was then time for bed in some very nice bedrooms (provided you weren’t in the same room as Apple pie(the name of a man)). For future hutters BRING EARPLUGS.

Saturday 8th September – Powell

Having been awoken by an extremely loud Leon Rickets fart pretty much everyone got up and set off for a very gentle run for about 4 miles at about 8 o’clock and the was greeted with breakfast when getting back to the hut. I only had a quick bowl of cereal (I don’t like running when too full) while very nervous about the 11 o’clock long run which was further than I’d ever run before. When setting off for the long run I initially felt good and tried to keep up with Oz and a Dossers son called Linton which I largely did for most of the way. Unfortunately my lack of breakfast was a pivotal mistake and I ran out of steam about 9 miles in and everyone laughed at me on the last two miles. Also at this point I realised I’d forgotten my waterproof coat as it started raining. Fortunately I had remembered my spare. (Note: there are also slower groups and walking groups). Once back to the hut I enjoyed a wash and then some soup and sandwiches and then some chill out time in order to reflect on what genuinely was a beautiful run. In this time I thought it would be fun to imagine I was small by sitting in a big tree and pretending it was a bonsai tree and eating a king sized mars bar. It was.

It was then time for a great time of the day in preparing tea outside the hut in the sunshine and learning how to cut onions and several other exotic vegetables such as garlic for tea. For those who are unaware of my eating habits I like plain food and while everyone else had curry and mash, I had mash and mash. It was then time for the pub in which several more lemonades were consumed and I laughed as two 17 year olds struggled to hold down their first beer. The two highlights of the night were the mars bar challenge in which you had to put your hands behind your back and devour a mars bar as quickly as possible. The hardest part of this was getting the chocolate out of the wrapper, this is unless you are Mick Hill and you just eat the wrapper as well. The second highlight was that Matt, Pete and Chris had ambled off at 10 in the morning on a pub crawl in the opposite direction from the pub where everyone else was (This was so Lockyer could complete his 365 days, 365 pubs, 365 pints challenge), so it ended up they had to pay £50 for a taxi. Harsh I know, but it is funny on reflection. Another thing that confused me was some of the older dossers insisted on referring to World war 1 as ‘The great war’? Surely World War 2 with its higher death toll and use of atomic weapons was loads better.

Sunday 9th September – Lucy

I arrived at the hut on Sunday afternoon and was greeted by various members of Doss AC who had begun to cook ‘Slobin’s nuts’ for tea. This was named after the head chef for the evening, Slobin, and involved nuts. I’m not actually a fan of cashew nuts but did like the dinner, and even had ‘compulsory seconds’, not knowing that there would be large quantities of tinned sponge to consume after the main course. I was left feeling fairly stuffed. After dinner it is customary to go to the Newfield Pub 4 miles down the valley and drink copious amounts of ale. I enjoyed hearing stories of previous mountain hut antics, and the subjects of pissing, snoring and farting regularly featured in the conversation. I learned of certain members sleeping in the road, pissing in the dormitories on other dossers possessions, and wondered what I had let myself in for. The dossers are very kind to students and many a time tried to buy me beer. I had to try a few varieties of beer just to ensure that I did in fact hate the taste. I feel I need to change this though, as a major part of being a dosser is the love of beer. They also introduced the students me Simon and Tom to a little game, ‘How many glasses on the table?’ which turns out to have nothing to do with glasses or tables (a tip for future students) and took Tom Powell a good 24 hours to suss. We returned and went to bed, where I had to lie completely still in order to sleep due to the outrageous squeakiness of the bunk.

Monday 10th September – Lucy

In the morning I broke a personal record by moving from a state of deep sleep to outside and ready for the breakfast run in approximately 3 minutes. Having only just arrived at the hut and fuelled by a large nutty spongey feast the previous night I felt fairly fresh, unlike others who had endured some tough fell running over the weekend. We got back, did not shower, had breakfast and prepared for the next run from Elterwater. It was quite rainy but a good temperature for running. Despite the fact that no one was sure of the route we managed to find our way up to Stickle tarn(?) overtaking Romper on the way. After pausing at the tarn we made our way through the mist in a direction nobody was sure was right. For this reason we ran around through the bogs and over little mounds in search of an acceptable route down. Lucy N made several attempts to use the map but these were thwarted by Rodders who proceeded to run away in random directions like a hyperactive terrier.

As usual the aim was to find the pub in Elterwater so the pintage could begin. We got there, and after a chilly dip in the river, I enjoyed a large portion of chips and no beers. We soon got back to the hut where a bit of chilling commenced. For the first time in my life I did a Guardian crossword, something I didn’t anticipate doing until retirement, but it was enjoyable I must admit. Apple Pie and Levery made a valuable contribution to working out the answers. Clue: Norway lobster, Levery: ‘It’s obviously NORWEGIAN CRUSTACEAN’. (In thick yorkshireman accent). Too many letters Mike. Paul Penis was in charge of the cooking that evening so we began a monster chopping session. I chopped 15 cloves of garlic, which caused my hands to smell for the following 3 days. Eventually a tasty pasta with lots of veg swimming in sauce came out of the kitchen and satisfied the hunger we had built up. It must have been good as even Tom Powell ate it. Unsurprisingly we soon found ourselves in the Newfield Inn, where this time we played drinking games such as ‘Wild wild west’ and ‘Ibbly Dibblies’ but as me and simon were not drinking beer we were obliged to consume sachets of condiments on the table such as ketchup or salad cream. We returned to the hut, did not shower and then went to bed. During the night I was awoken by a revving motorbike outside the hut. No, it was actually the snoring of a dosser named Glass Penis. It was around 2 o’clock and even the industrial ear plugs which I had stolen from the DT department did nothing for me. As I lay there I could hear others stirring and shuffling in the squeaky bunks as they battled to sleep with the chainsaw-like snorts of the man in the next bunk cutting through the peaceful silence in the dorm. After about an hour, I bailed and escaped to the girls dorm, where I enjoyed a good half-nights sleep, despite the constant procession of feet down the stairs of the dorm next door, which was Romper visiting the toilet. Ah well, better that than pissing on Levery’s clothes.

Tuesday 11th September – Lucy

I got up and found that everyone in the dorm I had been in had suffered as a result of the snoring. They should have followed suit and joined me and Lucy N in the quiet girls dorm.(Although it is reported that the snores of Apple Pie in the next room can often be heard through the wall). Having heard about my movement during the night, Mike Levery went upstairs, stood over the snoring dosser and said ‘Ive ‘eard about you, YOU NOISY BASTARD’, causing him to feel guilty and vow to sleep in his car the following night. We did the morning run again, did not shower and ate breakfast. Our group were meant to leave at half 11, but due to the failure of Mick Hill (presumed dead) to turn up and collect our bags to take to Ravenglass, we began the run at about half 12. Another dosser had (not reluctantly) volunteered to drive rather than run to the pub with our bags so the problem was solved. We said goodbye to Simon O’Meara who embarked on his bike ride back to Sherwood Forest. (A multi-day trip in which he planned to sleep in a plastic bag in a field each night.) The run was very long but very enjoyable with great views and a brief stop at a pub. Surprisingly the dossers did not have a pint, they had squash. It was after the pub stop that I began to feel tired, having not run for over 2 hours before. Muncaster fell was a bog and very energy sapping in the latter stages of the run, and I was glad to get to Ravenglass. We got to the pub, ACTUALLY SHOWERED, and sat down to enjoy the rest of the day consuming large quantities of food and beer. The world famous Ravenglass Railway museum had been highly recommended to me by certain dossers so it thought it only polite to attend when they made a trip to it. For the 50th year running, Mike Levery studied every single information board with the deepest of interest, hindering the rest of the group’s movement through the museum. Therefore when halfway round we were asked to leave the museum as it was closing. We could still visit the gift shop though, and Tom Powell decided to relive a bit of his childhood by purchasing a snake (yellow for doss reasons). Meanwhile Levery marvelled over the sight of an old man with a huge beard washing a steam train with a sponge. ‘I wonder if he knows what a privileged job he has’ – Levery. Eventually after we had exhausted all the points of ‘interest’ at the Ravenglass Railway Museum, we headed back to the pub, and I ate yet more chips and we all amused ourselves by playing with the snake. Hours of fun. Games of happy families, the old maid, and tiddledy winks ensued along with many stories from romper about nuns and experiences with girls on horses. A coach came to pick us up at half past 10 and took us back to the hut with a wee stop halfway to ease the strain of 8 pints of ale on the dosser’s bladders. Many songs were sung including bohemian rhapsody and Romper’s favourite wheels on the bus. All in all an excellent day, followed by a good night’s sleep, as Glass Penis had been relegated to the snorers’ dorm.

BUCS XC Champs Race Report – 2012

It would not be cross-country if there was not awful weather and freezing conditions. Appropriately, this years snow came BUCS, leaving the grounds at Cardiff a winter wonderland, with the levels of snow well over the ankles in some areas of the course. However, this did not put off thousands of runners from all uk uni’s digging deep, both psychologically and physically, to complete the races.

The Women’s race, over 7.5 km, was won by Hannah Walker in a stunning 24.08. This race exposed the rising star of the uni team, Rebecca Jameson in which her and Lucy Crookes where in the top ten at beginning of the race. Into the race Lucy realised her mistake and dropped back, whereas Becky held on before both athletes faded toward the end to finish 59th andd 63rd respectively. Our most experienced runner Mary Ferrier completed her 6th and final BUCs used her experience to work her way through the field finally pipping Crookes on the finishing straight to finish 62nd. Amicia Lee finished in 191st, Hannah Krraus in 273rd, Fiona Wiles in 281st and Bethan Hammons in 285th.

Leeds University had six runners in the Men’s A race, a tough 10.6K. Spookily 666 men completed the course in a massive field. The winner was Jonny Hay in a speedy 30.02,. World Champion triathlete Jonathan Brownlee was Leeds University’s first finisher, in 30.43 which placed him in 5th position. Club captain Fredd slemeck placed a great 69th, with Ben Marriot in 103rd, Kit secretary Luke Buswell in 151st who likened the snowy conditions to “running through iron” and Elliot Jackson in 35.39. Brownlee had no older brother for competition as in Varsity only a fortnight ago, but managed to stay in front pack until last lap where fell behind slipping into 4th on the wooded section, then down into 5th on the almost cruel and demoralising 500m finishing straight. his postion aided the mens team to finish a brilliant 10th, just ahead of our rivals leeds me

After such a taxing race, and indeed cross-country season, it is unsurprising that LUUCCC now look enthusiastically on to the spring and summer seasons. For some this entails track events, for others the road running season, and for others the London Olympics!


Manchester Relays Race Report – 2011

At the weekend LUUCCC competed in their first event of the year, the Manchester University x-country relays. The race consisted of a 2.1 mile loop around the university playing fields on a mostly flat course,  made significantly harder due to the conditions which were incredibly cold, wet and windy. This proved to be a challenge to some of the less experienced runners. Many of which commented on how they struggled running into a strong headwind over the the last few hundred metres.

The Men’s race commenced at 2.00pm, with 6 people required to complete a team in a field of over 50 teams in total. The winners of the race were Birmingham University A team (again!) with a cumulative time of 1.04.47 despite Salford University’s Joe Bailey completing the fastest lap of the day in 10.19. Leeds University entered an A and B team, with the A team having a closely run contest with Leeds Met for most of the race. The A team got off to an excellent start thanks to international star Freddie Slemeck with a fantastic time of 11.07. The club captain passed on to team mate Alex Bellew who ran 11.05 which marked a fantastic return to form following a series of injuries. They were supported by their team mates Elliot Jackson (11.52), a slightly tired looking Matt Crehan (11.56) due to a hard week of training, Callum Greenwood (12.00) and Luke Buswell who ran a fantastic final leg in 11.33 to finish 9th in the race. The B team also got off to a good start with Seb Goodall (11.39), Phil Sesseman (11.22), Chris Smith (12.20), James Raven (11.41), Tom Powell (12.08) and James Reynolds (13.57). The real stars of the B team were Chris Smith and Tom Powell. Unfortunately both ran with injuries but insisted on running and provided two crucial legs for the B team. Ex-race captain Alex Bellew noted that he was “…very impressed by the boys’ team spirit – they have both done the team proud”.

The women’s race started just 5 minutes after the men’s contest and required 3 runners to compete for each team. LUUCCC entered two teams, both of which featured a blend of freshers and some more experienced university runners. The A team finished a deserved place of 20th with a fantastic run from first year Caroline Ford (14.10) who provided the base for the team which showed the strength at the top for LUUCCC women’s running. The A team was completed by Emma Radcliffe (14.59), and Bethan Davies (15.26). The B team came in with a respectable 31st place with runs from Elizabeth Gedling(15.13), Meg Hayes (18.39) and a second from Caroline Ford (15.06).

Overall it was a great day out for Leeds University who showed their class against some of the best Universities and club teams in the country. Men’s race captain Elliot Jackson spoke after the race:  ”It was a fantastic race today, especially by the men’s B team. I was also impressed by some of the freshers runs such as Seb Goodall and Phil Sesseman. They have definitely helped strengthen the depth in the  team which was maybe lacking in previous years”

Summer report – 2012

Summer report


            Our generous captain has asked me to dust off my top notch journalistic  skills over the summer as unbelievably I got re-elected as press officer, despite annoying several people with my cut-throat style and along the way smashing an easter egg.  So anyway Bethan has politely asked me to produce a grammatically sound body of work to inform the british public on some of the activities the Doss have been getting up to this summer. At this point however I should point out to any future freshers who are reading these for a bit of background on the club, press officer is the most prestigious position within the team (obvious I know, I just wanted to avoid any confusion).  I also thought it polite to ask Bethan to write a forward, but I thought it easier to write one for her as its obvious what she would say.

Forward – ‘Bethan Davies’


            “Becoming the captain is a huge honour for me and I am extremely proud to have the number two position within the club. I am also proud to head the best committee the club has seen in years. I also feel having Luke Buswell as mens race captain is a huge bonus, and I’m sure he won’t cause any controvosy when picking men’s teams” (note sarcastic tone for latter statement)


            This summer has proved very eventful for the Doss and many events have taken place for Leeds athletes.

            The biggest summer event for students this year of course was chunder mile with some inconsistent performances round.  Peter Webster led the way with some insane drinking and running skills and ended up thrashing the rest of the field. Not entirely sure on the time, but re-watching the video still makes me feel slightly poorly, its almost as bad as breathing in Lancashire air. Adam “back on the road”/”Gricey” Grice finished in second with a decent gap between him and third place Bethan Davies. Davies , the only woman in the field, unbelievably completed the pint, lap, pint, lap, pint, lap, pint, lap downing pints of gravy. A stunning achievement, possibly matching those of the Brownlee brothers in the Olympics (they will be discussed later). Davies claimed her amazing run was down to some revolutionary early morning training “I sprint flat out for two hundred yards as soon as I leave the house, thus eliminating the embarrassing run for the bus as it pulls away from the bus stop”. I should also note that after the chunder mile some of us went out for lunch and Bethan had yet more gravy with her dinner! Behind Bethan Elliot Jackson finished fourth, a disappointing performance from the pre-race favourite. Tom Powell and Danny Jones finished fifth and sixth ironically in a sprint finish after the two trotted round for the first three and a half laps. Note: Unbelievably John Cocker missed this

The Leeds endurance athletes have particularly impressed this summer with Danny Jones, Jocelyn Payne, Lucy Crooks and  Jimmy Gardner being in decent nick (Gardner recently to a lesser extent).

Payne is in the middle of her latest marathon campaign in which 2hrs 55 is the target. When asked for a quote on her training she said “Sure, I’m running 90+ miles a week with just over 7 weeks to go. I’m trying to get my preparations perfect so that I can get the 2.55 which I tried to get in London but missed. I’m really appreciating having so many LUUCCC members (past and present!) and other runners as company for the hardest sessions and long runs as they are pretty lonely if you have to do every one by yourself! This season I’m adding lots of things to aid the running training, like strength and conditioning, aqua-aerobics, weights and yoga, and really trying to get my nutrition and resting spot-on. However, I am a little surprised I didn’t get the call to replace Paula when she pulled out of the Olympic Marathon… perhaps they couldn’t find my number?”

And she’s right as there are many students who run and train at the club in the summer, with Simon O’Meara at the top of the pecking order. Actually this reminds me of a funny story. We were doing a session on the grass next to the hockey pitches at the Leeds Met track complexes. Anyway the hockey pitches are surrounded by these massive fences and at the top of one was an owl. It just so happened Martin Roscoe (the fastest 3k runner in the country) attended and started coming out with all these facts about it being a specific type of owl due to characteristic ears and it being out at a certain type of day, and that the owl probably escaped from captivity. When we approached the owl, it ended up being made of plastic!

Danny Jones also competed in the UK iron man (2.4 mile swim, 112 mile cycle and marathon)  and finished the race in  13 hours and 6 mins. This is unbelievable stuff and he attributed this to his diet and passed on his wisdom by saying  “Thicken up low fat yoghurt, by adding a spoonful of yard”. The iron man incidentally took place 5 mins walk from my house and I said I would go and watch, however I then learned it started at six in the morning and I fancied a lie in. Sorry Danny.

Lucy has made some massive strides this year (I mean in terms of improvement, not that she has massive legs, then again she doesn’t have short legs either, infact on second thoughts she does have slightly larger than average legs so she proably has made some massive strides in both senses of the word), and has finished 4th in a trial race for the European champs and gained her first England vest, which as history tells us will end up in extreme arrogance and dislike from the masses over the next year. She has also run 9.52 on the track (for 3k- not 100m unfortunately) which has qualified her to run in a grand prix as part of the diamond league. If she carries on at this rate Alex Bellew may even class her as a “Big Cat” (as supposed to dog, but I changed it to cat given her female nature).

James Gardner has been in the process of running 12 half marathons in 12 months and after doing a brill job for 7, running like 1hr 20mins or something like that, which is seriously shifting. But now unfortunately judging by the pictures has twisted his ankle and has taken a temporary break in his challenge.  I thought he maybe able to do a bit of cycling to keep his fitness up, but James couldn’t afford a bike. Unfortunately he has no money and decided to ask God for a bike. Obviously God doesn’t work this way so he ended up stealing a bike and asked god for forgiveness.

Oh and just remember to mention Bethan Davies came third in the UK championships. Well done lass!

I also just remembered to write a few lines about Johnny ( I coach him) and Alistair Brownlee who finished first and third in the Olympic triathlon, two Leeds university students. Potential students may have heard that Alistair is a student at Leeds Met. I will point out that this is a downright lie! There medals also took Yorksire in the medal table to about 10th which is a great performance from Gods home country.

So finally can’t wait for a new term in the so-called “movember month”, and recently theres been hints about a fanuary for the ladies to join in……… Personally I’m enjoying ‘whoregust’

Varsity Race Report – 2012


Leeds Relays Race Report – 2011

Leeds Relays race report

In advance I’d like to apologise to people I haven’t mentioned this article but with so many people running I would be typing for a long time to mention everyone.

This Saturday marked the Leeds University relays in which the Uni and Doss alike provided a great end to the year for the cross-country team. The weekend was made more eventful when Steve Cram graced the relays with his presence. For those of you who missed him he spent most of the morning talking to George Ghandi (the coach of Sebastian Coe), their was clear friction between the two as Ghandi is one of the main reasons why Cram never won an Olympic gold. As if to rub salt into the wound of not winning the Olympics, one man went over to Cram to taunt him about it, but unfortunately went below the belt by even shouting at him “You never won park run, you never won park run” – disgraceful behaviour Greg Hull.

The women’s race commenced at 2.00 with some great expectations for the uni on their home soil. The uni A team was made up by three quality athletes with all three running within 14 seconds of each other. First off was Lucy Crookes who came in in 13th position (12.34), passing on to Rebecca Middleton who gained a phenomenal 8 positions with a time of 12.33. The team was brought home by Jocelyn Payne in 12.20 to make the team finish in 6th place. The team put down their success down to some advice given to them by Greg Hull (what a day he had) “Shoes last twice as long if only worn every other day”

The women’s B team consisted of Amicia Lee who built on her PECO league success to finish 23rd in 13.14. She passed on to veteran Anne-Marie who gained three positions to finish in 14.08. The final leg was Beth Chasty who gained a further three positions to get the team to finish 17th in a time of 13.22.

The mens race started at 2.30 with some high expectations before the race to see how the university team could compete against not only other uni’s but the highly coveted team Powell. The A team got off to a flying start thanks to Elliot Jackson who came home in a frighteningly good 10.24. Jackson put his performance down to some stunning advice from his father as a lad “EMPLOYEES: Only use the loo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you’ll also be getting paid” But the real battle was between B team, C team and Team Powell. Matt Crehan from the B team set off with a characteristic aggressive start but was gradually hunted down by C team member Chris Smith and Team Powell member Tom Powell. With 500m to go Smith powered ahead of both athletes to finish in 10.56, with Crehan holding off Powell with a strong last few hundred metres in 11.03 and Tom Powell in 11.07.

In the second legs Elliot Jackson passed on to ex-England international Freddie Slemeck (I say ex as he does not deserve to be picked for England on current form) to finish in a mediocre 10.42. Chris Smith successfully relayed on to Alex Jeffries who built on his victory from the curly wurly relays midweek to finish in 11.39. In the B team Matt Crehan passed on to Alex Bellew who provided a 10.57 leg. Th B team held their lead over Team Powell with Richard Powell running exactly the same time as Bellew, with both runners being trapped in a cat and mouse game against each other.

The third leg for the A team was provided by Jacob Clarke in 10.35 gaining three position to bring the uni up to a incredible 4th place. With the B team comfortably higher placed than the C team it was up to Ben Marriot to pull out the goods – and my goodness he did it with a great leg of 10.36, which begs the question what on earth Slemeck was doing in the A team. Luke Buswell ran a slightly disappointing 11.12. However the guys had problems with his blood so I won’t dig into him so much, due to this problem Luke should probably stay away from driving for the next 100 years.

The fourth final leg for the A team came in yet another sub 11 minute rung with Josh Stone providing the time in 10.57 to bring the team home in 6th. With only a few seconds between the B and C team it was set for a stunning race between Callum Greenwood and Tom Heaword. Tom provided a great run in 11.16 of which he was very pleased, I was also very pleased as he was just behind my time and he was my aim to beat this weekend. Callum was disappointed to only run 11.32, however he’s a fresher and has spent a lot of time visiting various psychologists after being involved in Buswell’s driving. Due to both these performances the C team controversially beat the B team, which made Chris Smith happier than a tornado in a theme park. The C team was 15th and the B 16th.

Overall a fantastic day out for the cross country team. Committee member Philip Chambers said “An amazing race today and cheers to Mick Hill for helping with the mad rush of organising closer to the race than ideally wanted. Unfortunately we missed regular competitor John Cocker who seldom misses a training session, never mind a race”

It is also worth noting some of the beer racing, in teams of 4 some teams managed epic 35 seconds downing times. However the real beer downing mention is still Rob Johnson who maintained his ability to be the only man who times his beer downing speed with a calendar. It is worth noting that if a team of Rob Johnsons attempted to down 4 pints they would finish next Thursday between 3.15pm and 3.45pm.

As its got to the end of the year I thought I’d reward my loyal readers with an official top 10 performance list from the Doss this year. I’d also like to thank Alex Bellew for his invaluable input to this article and should be credited as a co-writer. As a seasoned journalist I feel he has a exiting future of sports journalism ahead of him.

Top 10 races

10) Matthew Lockyer – Edinburgh – A scintillating run from the Pudsey man saw him place 13th in a strong field. Although only the 3rd counter for the Doss that race he deserves a mention due to the hideous facial hair he was sporting that day which must have delivered so much wind resistance/ extra weight its a surprise he finished at all. Narrowly beat Hannah Gornall on this list who equally surprised people at Edinburgh by finishing, however it was not facial hair that slowed her down – it was the presence of her passport!

9) Luke Buswell – Wednesday run – In a gentle Wednesday run, Luke Buswell allegedly opened a gap to the rest of the group on a downhill section by 400m. An unexpected move clearly caught his co-runners off guard as he ended up winning Wednesday run by an unprecedented margin of victory. Buswell clearly brought his A game to the run and has inspired a new generation of athletes with his cunning tactics.

8)Richard/ Robert Powell – Leeds relays – A controversial choice considering neither of these two runners are affiliated with thee university, however two outstanding runs non-the-less. Richard provided a stunning second leg for “Team Powell” – a run which Alex Bellew ended up calling him a “little bastard” for causing a closely run contest between the two. Robert Powell also impressed by finishing around a minute behind both brothers when during the summer would have probably finished a minute behind over 400m (true story).

7) Alex Jeffries – Curly wurly relays – Although in a team with Tom Powell to convincingly win the prime relay event of the year it was Jeffries who ran the longer leg and despite looking absolutely knackered towards the end he managed to hold off Freddie Slemeck in a professional manner.

6)Chris Smith/Mr. Alzheimers – Manchester relays – Smith finished the race in a great time, which cemented his place as one of the universities top runners. Though it is not for his athletic skillage that he is included in this list, it is the fact he managed to pull out this superb run despite being subjected to the horrors of Buswell’s driving/ crashing – an incident that has left him scarred for life. Alzheimers said “When I die I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep – not screaming, like the passengers in his car”

5)Alex Bellew – Edinburgh – A great run from the co-editor of this article, it was immediately decided that this run was worth a mention in the top ten list in a performance that left Bellew so happy he decided to pull out his ‘joy stick’ – then again he does that regardless of how he runs. What is he like!

4) Frederick Slemeck – Slovenia – in his international début in Slovenia captain Slemeck (propelled by new shorts) finished an outstanding position in his first international meet. Slemeck put his performance down to advice given to him from a certain Gregory hull prior to the race “GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail”

3)Jocelyn Payne – Marathon – A stunning performance that deservedly sneaks ahead of Slemecks England Call and also caused her to become the highest ranked U-23 in the UK marathon ratings. Coach Greg Hull quoted “She’s a gal who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is”

2)James Walsh – European cross – An decent run caused the Leeds city man to finish 15th in the Europeans. Its a slightly tainted victory however, imagine how good he could have been if he took up my offer of coaching him. He obviously didn’t see the massive improvement of Jonathan Brownlee after I took over as lead coach.

1)Tom Powell – Parkrun – In the biggest race of the year an outstanding athlete won an outstanding race. Undoubtedly the best performance by any athlete in the club. Tom’s performance can be summed up in two words “Absolutely flipping brilliant”


PECO League Race Report – 2011

Powell gives inspirational performance and the other guys did ok too

As Martin Luther King once said “I have a dream”, Tom Powell’s dream was to complete a race without running like a little girl, a feat which he has not accomplished since BUCS last February.

His day got off to a great start when Powell woke up, still feeling slightly jaded from loosing his Fruity virginity, was ready to try and regain some of the form that caused him to win Stockport Park run and Manchester Park run within the space of a month! He was saved from walking the short distance to the race start (approx. 10 miles) by club veteran Jocelyn Payne who very kindly offered to give Powell, together with Alex Jeffreys and Amicia Lee, a lift. The team prepared themselves for the race by listening to the Beatles’ Red Album. Powell and Payne were the John and Paul of the group by dominating the vocals and singing really loudly for a lot of the journey, Amicia did very well by occasionally contributing to form some stunning 3 part tight harmonies to “Ticket to ride”. Alex was clearly the Ringo of the group by not contributing to the music at all.

At the actual race (what these reports are meant to be about) the start got under-way with a very large field of several hundred runners with all four runners from the university executing clinical starts despite the course being designed the runners cutting through a gap in a hedge about 90 seconds into the race which caused some severe waiting for some of the runners in the bulk of the field. However overall it was a pretty decent course with some long stretching hills, the up hills inconveniently made much harder by a viscous wind smashing into your face. After settling into the race Powell was in the top 20 and gradually moved himself into the top 10 throughout the race however his lack of mileage started to show in the last few minutes and lost several places to finish 13th. Jeffreys ran an aggressive race from the gun, causing Powell to get very nervous and hot under the collar as there was not a lot between the two athletes for the first 10 minutes, to finish a great 26th. Jocelyn Payne continued her form which made her the highest ranked marathon runner in the country for an U-23 by finishing 2nd in a race much shorter than her preferred distance. Amicia Lee finished (not sure where as results aren’t up yet) and amusingly said “Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully refreshed and on time”

In post-race analysis with ex-race captain with Alex Bellew, Bellew commented on the obvious strength of the field otherwise Powell would have inevitably finished in the top 10. In fact rumour has it that the PECO league will serve as the selection criteria for the UK cross country team this winter, rather than the traditional UK cross challenge. Bellew also commented on Amicia Lee’s comment, claiming it was a rubbish tip saying “Single Men: Convince people you have a girlfriend by standing outside Topshop with bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside – now that is a proper tip”


Edinburgh Braids Hill XC Race Report – 2011

I would like to start this edition of LUUCCC race report with a response to a question that was left unanswered in the previous edition. It has now been officially confirmed that the soreness in Alex Bellews bum from the Yorkshire fell championships was actually from the race, not from any other reason.

This weekend proved to be a successful one, in what has proved to be a fruitful season so far for LUUCCC. A sunny saturday afternoon marked the Braids Hill fell race in Edinburgh which consisted of a 3 mile loop which involved running up to a summit via testing climbs and then back down the other side of the hill in a series of tricky descents. The women’s race was to complete one of these laps while the men’s was to complete two.

The women’s race started at 2.00 sharp with some great talent from the Doss on show. The race was won by Clare Ward of Edinburgh University in a stunning 18 minutes 34 seconds however Edinburgh weren’t going to have it all there own way with Dosser Emma Raven close behind in 3rd (18.53). Mary Ferrier also impressed in her first race of the year to finish a great 17th (20.12). Caroline Ford also demonstrated her form with a great follow up from her heroics in the Manchester relays finishing 29th (20.55). Next to count was Rebecca Jameson (22.09), followed by Lucy Gemmel 58th (23.04). Coincidentally Gemmel had many highlights this weekend including taking a pedalo (yes you heard correctly, a pedalo) with men’s race captain Elliot Jackson, and also going slightly mental in Starbucks after sighting someone from ‘Made in Chelsea’. There was also a highly intense battle for 62nd spot between Frances Carney and Amicia Lee who came in 62nd and 63rdrespectively. During the race many spectators thought Lee would win the fight as Carney looked tired from the excess weight of carrying her passport. The team was made up by Fiona Wiles who finished in 67th (24.14), Jessica White 71st (24.34), Hannah Gornall 189th (24.40), Beth Ferrier 81st (25.05) just ahead of Laura Severinsen 82nd (25.06) and Beth Martin 99th (27.49)

The men’s race commenced at 2.30, with high expectations on the Doss after some stunning individual performances this year so far including Freddie Slemeck’s international debut in Slovenia (Yes that’s correct he did actually run for England, those shorts aren’t just stolen from a regular international), with 4 people to count per team. The race up to the summit for the first time showed some stunning ascending from Elliot Jackson and Matt Lockyer who both leading the race closely followed by Slemeck (in his signature shorts) and Alex Bellew. The overall winner was Niall Sheehan of Lasswade AC with 32 minutes 35 seconds, with the main challenge from the Doss coming from Alex Bellew in 4th (33.35). Allegedly Bellew only ran faster so he could get in the showers straight away and hence would have to wait less time to strip off, one of Bellews favourite pastimes. Next from Doss was Freddie Slemeck in 5th a solid 23 seconds behind Bellew with a run in which he said “I couldn’t have done any more” which involoved a superb sprint finish at the end. The team was made up by Matt Lockyer who gave another usefull run in 13th (34.31) despite massive wind resistance on his newly formed facial hair and Elliot Jackson who’s self confessed lack of endurance caused him to fade to finish 18th (35.35). This caused the team to finish a brilliant 2nd place overall just behind Edinburgh University. There was also great runs from James Raven in 22nd (35.53), man-mountain Jack Wood in 27th (36.22) who was my individual athlete of the weekend, and Luke Buswell in 42nd (37.04) who expertly disguised the fact he was on steroids by running a little bit slower than normal. Tom Heawood finished a respectable 58th (38.06), whilst listening to remixes of Jingle Bells and the Mariah Carey classic “All I want for Christmas is you” in-between getting into fights and losing piercings from his ear. Other runs worth a mention were Dave Burtles 78th (39.34), , Alex Jeffreys 102nd (41.05) who closely contested with Shane Adams who came 107th (41.16), John Derrick 139th (43.00), Thomas Canaway in 180th (46.52) and Adam Kirk 203rd (53.03). Despite their being several bets on Tom Powell to reach the summit first he unfortunately ran like a little girl due to injury and had to drop out. His luck however improved throughout the day as he impressed on the dance floor when Flo Riders “Low” was played. He was also saved from being Dick of the day by Rowan Temple who unbelievably dropped out and actually brought his passport on the same day – what a dick/day!

It is also worth noting that if an athlete would have finished in the same time it takes Rob Johnson to down a pint they would have finished in 82nd place in a time of 40 minutes 15 seconds.
When asked to comment about the race Men’s race captain Elliot Jackson had to say “people whose surname is Toblerone should always take along an empty ‘Toblerone’ chocolate box when attending interviews for office jobs. This would save your potential employer the expense of having to make a name plaque for your desk, and therefore increase your chances of getting the job”. It his highly advised that freshers take note of this advice if they wish to progress as an athlete.

WYL and Yorkshire Fell Championships Race Report – 2011

Slemeck and Bellew dominate Yorkshire fell championships

This Saturday marked the Yorkshire fell championships which consisted of a strong field of well over two hundred runners. The race was an epic 5 miler in Great Whernside which involved insanely steep climbs and descents, leaving as much to the runners guts as their athletic prowess. In previous years the race has heavily featured Leeds University triathlon star Johnathan Brownlee, he however decided to miss this race after his coach (for those of you who don’t know him it’s me (the skinny guy with no hair from training)) advised him against it after a hard week of training. With Brownlees absence Slemeck looked to insert his authority from the start, while Bellew executed another of his infamous slow starts, not getting carried away with the pace of the field. After a mile or so Slemeck and Bellew found themselves together in a cat and mouse game with ameteur athlete and professional nutcase, the dosser Matt Lockyer who once famously asked a girl from Middlesborough if her parents were brother and sister, with all three running in top 10 positions. With the last few hundred metres approaching there was very little to separate the three athletes however Slemeck managed to sneak ahead of Bellew by a mere four seconds with Lockyer a further seven seconds behind. It is worth noting that the three athletes crossed the line in order of their number of parkrun victories (2 to Slemeck, 1 to Bellew and as far as I know 0 to Lockyer as yet), which proves that the Hyde Park time trial is the base to any runners success. The three finished in 7th, 8th and 9th respectively, with Slemeck taking the Junior prize. Allegedly Bellew was caught saying after the race “it’s because he’s a lanky bugger so he was able to leap over the bogs better than me”. Bellew also commented on the soreness of his bum however it has not been confirmed whether this was from the race or not. The overall winner of the race was Carl Bell from Howgill Harriers with the time of 31 mins 32 seconds, finishing over a minute ahead of his nearest challenger Ian Holmes who ousted out Chris Birchill for second place.

As well as the Yorkshire fell championships, there was also the West Yorkshire Cross Country League. This was held on a very blustery Saturday morning around a very open York race course which provided little protection from the wind. Fortunately LUUCCC had been watching Sky Sports News in the morning and knew the conditions would be ‘good to firm’ which provided them information to prepare their vital race plans. The women’s race commenced at 1.45 with a small but strong field with just under 100 runners completing the 6.5 km cross country. The race was won by Laura Kirk of Skyrac (24 minutes 53 seconds) broke away from the field with Clare Duck of Leeds City (25.15) and Katie Walshaw of Holmfirth (25.20) after about 3 k which provided the spectators with a fantastic race. Leeds Universities Women team put in three consistently strong performances led by Jessica White in 62nd (31.41) followed by Hannah Gornall 67th (32.05) and Fiona Wiles 79th (33.00). Jessica White, ever the optimist, seemed unphased by the conditions that slowed down many of her competitor said in a post race interview on facebook they were “really nice conditions but a bit of a headwind at times”

In the men’s race the university entered another strong but small team in a much larger field of two hundred athletes. The race was held over the same course but with an extension to the women’s race making it a full 10k. The race was won by Leeds City’s Simon Deakin who (after some late night power of 10 stalking) has been ranked in the top 10 in the UK for 10k in the past few years. Deakin completed the course in a stunning 32minutes 42 seconds. Leeds Universities team was missing their two men in form Freddie Slemeck and Alex Bellew due to their presence at the pre-mentioned championships. Fresh off his victory an aloof Slemeck was caught saying “As an international athlete I only compete in major competitions a local league meeting means nothing to an athlete of my calibre”. Leeds Universities team was brought home by Matt Crehan who ran a very brave race from the gun challenging the leaders of the racebut unfortunately faded throughout the race to finish a respectable 32nd (37.03). The second counter for the uni was Chris Smith (Mr Alzheimers) who showed promise for the forthcoming season with steady improvements from week to week, giving Crehan a run for his money to finish 35th (37.13). At the end of the race Smith had only to say “I ran round a field in York”, valuable information which I felt could add to the quality of this article. In his first cross country race for a while Luke Buswell finished 28th (37.32), to finish 3rd counter, a run which Buswell was bitterly disappointed with having hoped to challenge for the top 10. Some say his race was like one big car crash. Fourth and final counter was Tom Hearward in 46th (38.00) who ran a very impressive race considering his self confessed lack of training in the last year and proved if he could hit form in the right time he could carry out his dream of making BUCS A team.

Overall it was an outstanding weekend for the team with Slemeck and Bellew providing a masterclass of running while the teams participation at the West Yorkshire league showed two small but strong teams of both men and women despite the absence of star athlete Tom Powell.

Tom Powell

Press Officer